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10 Things Mums Wished Were True

  1. Men love boobs that no longer defy gravity and give sad fried eggs a run for their money.IMG_2062
  2. The bath is the holy grail – a place where no one can interrupt, nag, whinge at or bother you. A no rubber duck zone, only candles, bubbles (of the bath and prosecco type) and chilled anthems allowed.IMG_2064
  3. Un-shaved legs are super sexy. Men love that extra layer of cosiness.IMG_2065
  4. Black leggings are the height of fashion, especially if splattered with sick, bogeys, drool, and any general food remnants.IMG_2058
  5. Saying “No” or “Aah aah aah” will instantly stop any babies/children in their tracks – immediate obedience and mischief is deterred.IMG_2072
  6. Cbeebies is presented by the cast of Magic Mike.IMG_2061
  7. NCT classes and the like offer wine and cake instead of tea and coffee.IMG_2066
  8. All children’s bedroom doors have invisible force fields to prevent any pre 7am visits and parent bed invasions.IMG_2067
  9. Every kitchen has an invisible layer of regenerative cling film on the kitchen floor, so after feeding time you simply whip it away and boom, the mountain of crumbsΒ is gone. No crawling on your hands and knees or dust pans and brushes required.IMG_2068
  10. The TV remote also has a child mode with a volume button (no more wheels on the bus at 6am on a Sunday morning after your first night out with the girls); a pause button (for when you need to get a few jobs done, have a wee, or sit down and enjoy a cuppa without it going cold); a rewind button (to enjoy and re-live those funny and special moments); a fast forward button (to zoom past those whingy, tantruming, and generally difficult moments); a play button (making the children in your life happily sit and play without a single utterance of “That’s mine“, “I was playing with that!“, “Mummy he’s/she’s playing with my toy“); an info button (a synopsis explaining the baby/child’s current mood, thoughts, and feelings); a help button (used to provide useful information on how to resolve any meltdowns and general issues with minimal fuss); and a record button (to make a permanent record of all the magical times we’ve shared with our little people, so we can reminisce in years to come).IMG_2069

We can all keep dreaming can’t we? It’s nice to dream.

Gem x

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50 thoughts on “10 Things Mums Wished Were True”

  1. Very creative! My favourite is the doorway forcefield, but I also wouldn’t mind if I could just say ‘no’ once and have immediate obedience. More likely to win the lotto in this case, I’m afraid! #kcacols

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Amazing this made me laugh and nod along, any chance someone can invent any/all of this and maybe a self cleaning house while we’re t it too #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Brilliant! Can I add one?
    That all babies consistently sleep through the night from 3 months onwards. 16 months and still up 2-4 times… Every night! Zzzzzzzzz!
    #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think this has to be one of my favourite posts that I have read to date. I want so many of these things to be true!! Especially Magic Mike presenting CBeebies haha!! Love it!! #BloggerClubUk

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hahaha, brilliant and I think your illustrations are fantastic too. And Channing would be very easy on the eye. If he could be in every programme too like Mr Tumbles etc then I would be one very happy Mummy πŸ™‚ #bloggersclubuk

    Liked by 1 person

  6. What a fun post to read Gemma!! I hope we can have all of these things, that would be fab!! lol Can I please get one of those remote controls? I really need one ASAP!! lol Love your drawings, really clever!! Thanks so much for sharing this awesome post at #KCACOLS. I’m so happy to have you here for the first time. I hope that you like and it would be lovely if I can see you again on Sunday! πŸ™‚ x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. haha so true and funny. My youngest is 3 mths old and I shaved my legs for the first time a couple of weeks ago and blocked the bath plug hole up! #fabfridaypost

    Liked by 1 person

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