Friends, Funny, Home, Parenting

The Parent Crap

I love my husband dearly, he’s my rock, and all that lovey dovey blurb…Β but some nights I want nothing more than to roundhouse him to the floor! (Before you start, I don’t condone violence and I would never actually do it, but imagining it in the style of a Peter Griffin/Family Guy cut away clip makes it ok, right?).

Tonight is a prime example. The two children (I’d once lovingly lugged around like an overweight gorilla for 18 long months, propelled into the world in the most undignified and painful way from my noo noo, and sacrificed my once pert boobs to) have told me more than enough times this evening, “No Mummy I don’t want you I want Daddyyyyyyy!!!” accompanied with a scowl the grumpy cat would be proud of.

Granted, it’s not entirely Daddy’s fault he is awesome and very cuddly, but it still doesn’t stop me from wanting to get all Chuck Norris on his ass!

All I wanted was a cuddle, but instead I got a wriggling octopus with a one word Daddy Dictionary. Grrr!

So yes, I’ll put my hands up and admit it. I’m jealous! How does he do it? Am I doing something wrong? Am I too strict? Is it because I’ve gone back to work and they’re mad at me? Is it because they genuinely don’t love me as much? #mumguilt

In all honestly I don’t know why. I am however starting to realise that life as a family isn’t all Von Trap sing-alongs whilst parading through the meadows hand in hand, and I’d question anyone who said otherwise.

The faultless pictures you see on Instagram aren’t real. Mr and Mrs Perfect’s model family photo frolicking in a strawberry field was probably taken on their twenty second attempt on account of joyful Johnny shoving strawberries up his nose and sweet Susie flashing her knickers for the thirtieth time.

Before we had the boys I remember saying to people “We never argue, we get on so well, we’re best mates, blah blah blah“. Post kids, were still best mates, but argue? We do now. I’m not talking the dramatic Eastenders throwing plates at the wall “Ger art of ma pub!” type arguing, but we do have our disagreements and fall outs like most people. Why? Here’s a bit of parental maths:

cook-offAnother thing that adds to the ‘parent crap’ is the resentment. I never thought I’d resent their Daddy for going to work, but I remember thinking he was staying late at work to check out the hot toned girls who actually had time for the gym (unlike his baby bellied wife). I thought it was his way to avoid the crazy bedtime routine, but in actualΒ reality he was working his backside off to pay bills and keep his job.

On the flip side he resented me for staying at home with his two little boys having all of that time to make memories whilst he was at work. A vicious cycle. The only way to avoid it crumbling is to tell yourself your both in it together. You’re a team. A family team.

So whether my little snot rockets are Daddy’s boys or Mummy’s boysΒ it doesn’t matter, we’re a team, a unit, and they will have our undying love until the day we are no more.

(Seriously though kids, you best start giving me more cuddles or Daddy’s never going to get another cup of tea).



53 thoughts on “The Parent Crap”

  1. I think this is my fave post of yours so far – and that is saying something! Love your images and calculations! πŸ˜‰ Just so you know – I think you’re both doing an outstanding job and your little superheroes are amazing xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, I love this! You are obvs. doing a fabulous job but YES to the resentment re. making memories and then trying to remember you are ‘team family’! You could have written this about us πŸ˜‰ #EatSleepBlogRT

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh I feel your pain chick I’ve been in the same boat this week; I have a demonic teething child all day then Daddy comes home and gets all the smiles and says he seems fine to him! Grrr!!! Great post really made me smile xx #fartglitter

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Haha love the truth in this – blooming Daddy’s being popular. Luckily I’m enjoying a large dose of mummy-itus at the moment and as annoying as it is when only mummy will do, I’m secretly loving every cuddle πŸ™‚ #EatSleepBlogRT

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  5. It’s hard when you have dealt with the little buggers all day and then it’s daddy who is treated as a hero when he returns home. I love that you are a unit though, I wish I had that! I’m still the lazy one who gets to stay at home all day, apparently!


    1. Absolutely not lazy at all, quite the opposite in fact. It’s bloody hard work I go to work part time for a ‘break’ πŸ™‚ I’m completely with you though, it’s so bloody frustrating. Thank you for your comment x


  6. Your info-graphic is spot on! You nailed it. I’m the working Mrs. and my Mrs, is the stay at home. I am jealous, and so is she. And oh, how I miss her. And we both love our littles so! Teh Parent trap!


    1. I’m so pleased you liked the blog and info-graphic, it was fun to do. It certainly is a Parent trap, we’re dammed if we do and dammed if we don’t. The littles are very lucky to have two mummies who love them so much. Thank you for the lovely comment. x

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Lovely post. I get the ‘I don’t want you Mummy, I want Daddy’ too and it honestly drives me up the wall! I mean, aren’t we the ones looking after them all day?!!! But then I also get the ‘You’re the best mum in the world’ comments, and all’s good:) You’re so right – it all boils down to teamwork!!!
    PS: Love your maths chart. So true.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so pleased you like the post. I do occasionally get the nice comments, which I suppose makes them all the more special when I do get them, still want to drop kick the hubby though πŸ˜‚ Thank you for your lovely comments. Gem x


  8. I love your equation and you are sooooo right! We’ve been together for 17 years (eek!) and went from being just the two of us to now four in the space of 18 months. We thought we’d built such a strong indestructible relationship, but – as your equation rightly points out – it’s so bloomin’ full on and we rarely have a chance to sit back and chat never mind hit the sack. IG is so not real life, but I can’t help nosy at people’s feeds. Some amazingly creative people there hiding their flawed – I.e. Normal! – lives πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so pleased you liked it. Wow 17 years, I’m at 5 years 😊 It isn’t all fairytales that’s for sure. Life wouldn’t be real if there wasn’t the odd ‘challenge’. Thank you for your lovely comment. X


  9. Ha ha. Your calculations are sooooo true.
    Don’t forget we need pics if you do decide on the Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
    Here’s hoping your turn for the cuddles comes round soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh kids. Mine boy does this all the time. But then, on that odd occasion I want Daddy to deal with something and have those cuddles so I can have a bath/glass of wine/rock silently in the corner, Does he want his daddy then, oh hell no, it’s all mummy.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This is so true, my husband and I often compare who has the better deal. But really it isn’t about that, we both have a role that we choose together and was right for our family. We are team and we need to remind each other of this x #Bloggerclubuk

    Liked by 1 person

  12. πŸ™‚ I think I would be whooping with joy if Little Button picked daddy over me just one teeny tiny time. She’s a mummy’s girl through and through, which means that he never gets a look in. Love your infographic, which certainly rings true. You are doing a wonderful job, go team! Thank you for linking up to the #DreamTeam xx

    Liked by 1 person

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