I’ve lost that bloggin’ feelin’
Whoa, that bloggin’ feelin’
I’ve lost that bloggin’ feelin’
Now it’s gone, gone, gone, whoah
Bring back that bloggin’ feelin’
Whoa, that bloggin’ feelin’
Bring back that bloggin’ feelin’
‘Cause it’s gone, gone, gone
And I can’t go on, whoah
Ok so I can’t go on is a bit dramatic, I can go on, I just kept that line in for effect, and partially because my rhyming skills are pretty dire (I’ll leave that to my very talented and hilarious partner in rhyme (and cake) Rhyming with Wine). But yes, I have lost that blogging feeling. In all honesty I’ve never really considered myself as a ‘proper’ blogger and here’s why.
It all started out when I made a bit of a ‘boob’ of myself, and after receiving a backlash from a number of trolls (no not the ones with bright electric shock hair and squeaky voices. Although to be fair that would probably have been quite entertaining) I decided to tell my side of the tale, so I wrote Nobody’s Perfect.
I’d never really understood the concept of a blog until I came across the very talented and funny Unmumsy Mum Sarah Turner. If you haven’t heard of her 1. What rock have you been under? and 2. Stop reading this shite immediately and order all her books from Amazon. What a bloody wonderful woman she is, someone not afraid to tell it how it really is, no sugar coated bullshit, just the truth and reality of what is parenting and life. So when I made my very own parental boo boo I wanted to share it amongst like minded people in the same boat. That boat capsized as a result, not something I had at all expected. Whilst there were horrible comments made, many tears shed and the evidence was clear, I was pretty dumb (and remain to be at times), I still have a lot to thank for making the ‘boob’. It brought me back the creativity I’d lost since having my two boys.
I’ve always loved writing, drawing, painting etc. but since becoming a mum it had to go to the bottom of the ‘things to do’ list, I was too busy milking myself like a cow; stuffing raisins into my kids mouths whilst attempting to get a few things from Aldi; trying not to make chicken nugget / pizza / fish finger teas every night (and often failing); and all done whilst attempting to be the good wife (my husband might refute this as ever been the case) I used to be before kids, but in reality I resembled a worn out, legging wearing, make up lacking, grump frump, with a bit of added nagging for good measure. I’d lost the one thing that made me, well, me.
Blogging is my new creative outlet, yes not quite the canvas and acrylic creativeness I used to have in the past, but somewhere for me to use my brain (don’t snigger) and imagination. I still don’t to this day have a clue what a SEO or a MOZ is, and part of me thinks if I do then I’m not really doing my blog for the right reasons, purely to gain followers. The reason I blog is because it helps me relax and get back to being me, and if people do read it, then I want them to laugh and smile. Now I’m going to get all quotey on you, from one of my favourite films Jerry Maguire
Dicky Fox – “If this [points to heart] is empty, this [points to head] doesn’t matter”.
Mr Fox you are correct, if your heart is not in something then your mind isn’t either. That’s how I feel with blogging, if someone comes to me to ask me to write a blog about a tube of toothpaste, then I’m sorry but how the fudge do you expect me to write a piece about a bit of minty tasting sodium fluoride? Don’t get me wrong I like toothpaste as much as the next person, and if we didn’t have it we’d all look like Jeremy Kyle show guests, but I don’t love it enough to sell my soul and write about how it changed my life and made me feel on top of the world. Now I have been a little contradictory in all of this as I was asked by a company to write a blog about something I actually do enjoy, let’s for the sake of this blog call it belaxing for a natress company (I won’t go into great detail as I don’t want it to come back on me, but I’m sure you can figure out my crypticness). So I wrote it because I like to ‘belax’, and managed to write more about that than going into great detail about a ‘natress’ I’ve never even seen. After talking to my good blogger friend Dawn it would appear I had been ‘had’, as I never received anything for the post, I did it out the kindness (aka stupidness) of my own heart. So I feel I have to be very weary of this thing that is blogging especially when people are asking for your time (which is quite limited of late) and effort. There’s generally always a catch. On the other hand if L’oreal wanted me to dye my hair give me a makeover so I could flick it around in an advert I would happily oblige and declare it has changed my life. Yes I am that fickle, and also going grey, so a girls got to do what a girls got to do.
The other reason I’m feeling a bit wobbly about the whole blogging thing is on the back of a blogging conference I attended last year. I’m generally a very sociable and outgoing type of person, and I had visions of getting to London and being Mrs Social of East Social, Socialfield, instead I was more like Sister Bernadette from Call the Midwife. I’m not sure what happened but I lost any kind of confidence that I’d previously had on the train as myself and my good friend Dawn journeyed to London from up North like a couple of excited teenagers off to see Justin Beiber. I can only put it down to feeling completely out of my depth and the fact I feel a bit of a fraud. I don’t really get much chance to read other blogs unless I get a spare five minutes when the kids are sat gormless mouths open wide at Cbeebies, and that’s usually interrupted by “What can I eat now?”, “More duuucceee“, then once I’ve found said food or juice I’ve completely forgotten what I had previously been doing. I found it hard to spark up conversation with people because it’s a bit embarrassing when you probably follow every social platform of theirs but wouldn’t know them from Adam. But then that’s probably the point of these events? Must try harder next time, sorry guys. Luckily I did recognise the lovely Detrice Matthews who is the owner of a wonderful and heartfelt blog about her journey through breast cancer and beyond. I love her posts as they are real, straight from the heart, no bull, all genuine, and it gives you that warm feeling which usually results in me giving the kids a big bear hug. For me that’s what it’s all about, keeping it real.
Another person I recognised and really wanted to get the chance to speak was to was Sarah Turner (The Unmumsy Mum). I often say if I was to meet an idol (sorry I know that sounds so cheesy) I’d play it cool and be myself. I could not have been more fangirl if I’d have tried. I was so bloody nervous, the person who made me feel normal, less of a failure as a mum, the reason I posted the picture in the first place, and the one who inspired me to start the blog was stood right there in front of me, not only that she gave me a welcoming hug. I’d like to say I remembered our conversation but I was a little bit taken back by the whole experience. Sarah asked me how things were which would have been the perfect chance to have said something comedic and normal(ish), but no instead I just said “Yeah, you know motherhood and stuff, it’s a bit crazy. Sorry about my boobs by the way. I won’t get them out or anything“. Cue the awkward silence. If you’re reading this Sarah, I can only apologise for my David Brent style outburst. It would seem I didn’t really play it cool at all, I full on fell through the bar like Del Boy.
With so many amazing bloggers out there such as Rhyming with Wine, Detrice Matthews, The Unmumsy Mum, Hurrah for Gin, Brummy Mummy of 2, Beta Mummy, Whinge Whinge Wine (I could go on forever), I find it hard to come up with new content, because why would I want to reiterate what someone else has already said in a much more entertaining and clever way than I ever could? I want to have that originality, and most importantly I need to enjoy it for me. If anyone else likes reading it, that’s a bonus and a bloody great one.
So whilst this is a bit of an affirmation for me (but more of a kick up the arse) I want other bloggers to remember what made them start blogging in the first place and why they love doing it. Don’t get caught up in how many followers you have, what rank you are on Tots 100, how many linkys you’ve joined, how many comments you’ve made etc. Do it for you, don’t let it stress you out, it shouldn’t feel like a chore, write because you want to, not because someone is telling you (unless it is your full time job, then as you are).
So I I’ve basically talked myself into sticking with it, and to try not lose that blogging feeling. I might only get one post out a month (if that), I probably won’t join up to any linkys, I may disappear from the social media world for a few days, and I will probably always be a WordPress.com blog link, but I’m good with that because I got that little bit of creative me back.