Celebs, Comedy, Disney, Fairytale, Film, Food, Funny, Humour, Smiling, The Little Mermaid, Uncategorized, Yorkshire

An Ode to Yorkshire – Nowt Like a Tea (Little Mermaid Style)

Yorkshire, a bloody wonderful place where people eat tea instead of dinner; say “Morning” “How do!”, and “Alright” to complete strangers; often use words like ‘fettle’, ‘mardy bum’ and ‘bugger lugs’; regularly say a rude four letter word beginning with c and ending with t when they’re actually saying ‘couldn’t (you know the one); a region so wonderful even France wanted a piece, which then laid the way to Tour de Yorkshire; a place called home to many a wonderful folk such as Dame Judi Dench, Sir Patrick Stewart, Jessica Ennis, Nicola Adams, Leigh Francis (proper bo I tell thee!), Brian Blessed, Dickie Bird, Mel B, David Hockney, Jarvis Cocker, Sir Ben Kingsley, Michael Palin, Jeremy Clarkson, Vic Reeves, Ernie Wise,  Corrine Bailey Rae, The Kaiser Chiefs, Def Leppard, the list is endless. Basically Yorkshire is the balls, or in Yorkshire terminology ‘the dogs danglies’.

So in true Colleyswobbles style another one of our favourite Disney classics has been re-adjusted for your entertainment. Imagine Ariel and Sebastian we’re from good old Yorkshire. Ariel is tempted to move down South, but proud Yorkshire lad Sebastian (let’s call him Bazza in that case) has some advice for her as follows;

(To be sang in the style of Under the Sea, YouTube it if you need a reminder)

Ariel down South, it’s a mess. Life in Yorkshire is better than owt they got down there.

Sean Bean is always keener
Suppin’ his tea with cake
You dream about going yonder
But that’s just a big mistake
Just look at the folk around you
Right here in God’s Country
Such wonderful things surround you
Nowt like it, it’s all for thee

Nowt like a tea
Or Wensleydale Cheese
Petal it’s better
Up where it’s wetter
Take it from me
Up on the Moor we stroll all day
Down South, they on tubes drinking latte
There’s no time for joking
We’re full time devoting
To suppin’ tea

The beer is always dearer
Pay thirty quid for steak
You dream about going down there
But that is a big mistake
Just look at the deals around you
Right here on your front door
Aye wonderful things surround you
What more are you looking for?

Nowt like a tea
Or Wensleydale Cheese
What is ricotta?
Wensleydale it’s not(ta)
And don’t give me Brie
Up on the Moor we stroll all day
Down South, they on tubes drinking latte
There’s no time for joking
We’re full time devoting
To suppin’ tea

Up here all the folk are ‘appy
As ‘appy as pigs in muck
With places like Fountains Abbey
Us chaps are just blessed with luck
With food like the Yorkshire Pudding
Piled onto an empty plate
A portion of Rhubarb crumble
No finer food can be ate

Nowt like a tea
Nowt like a tea
Nobody beats us
Try us and meet us
In Whitby Quay
In Yorkshire born was Captain Cook
Them Brontes wrote a reet good book
Nowt ‘ere’s worth fretting
No point regretting

Just ‘ave some tea (Just ‘ave some tea)
Nowt like a tea (Nowt like a tea)

Since life is sweet here
We doin’ reet here
Naturally (Naturally)
Even the straight folk and the gay
Drink beer in the pub on Friday
Go watch the cricket
Run down a snicket
For chippy tea

We folk are happy come what may
We got the spirit
You got to hear it
We bloody love tea!

In Hull it’s never dull
They’re friendly in Emley
Spend yer brass in Cas
They’re smiley in Filey
Eat Stilton in Bilton
Get shakey in Wakey
Do Otley dressed as broccoli (Yeah)

Nowt like a tea
Or Wensleydale Cheese
Petal it’s better
Up where it’s wetter
Take it from me
Up on the Moor we stroll all day
Down South, they on tubes drinking latte
There’s no time for joking
We’re full time devoting
To suppin’ tea

Nowt like a tea (Nowt like a tea)
Nowt like a tea (Nowt like a tea)
We got good cuisine
Our curries are mean
I’m sure you’ll agree
We got the lot, a lot of land
Yorkshire it’s bloody grand

We like our beer here
We’re full of cheer here
We love our tea

We like a flat cap here
We eat our snap here
We love our tea

Walk through the Dales here
Sup lots of Ales here

That’s why it’s better
Up where it’s wetter

Aye we in luck here
Up in the muck here
Drinking our Tea

So there you have it, and ode to the best place on earth, Yorkshire.


Gem x

Chicken, Cooking, Delicious, Food, Ginger, Grub, Home, Housewife, Recipes, Spring onion, Uncategorized

Ginger and Spring Onion Chicken

The other day I made a really tasty meal, so I thought I’d share the love and hopefully you’ll like it as much as me.

Just to warn you I’m a non measure type of cook so the below measurements are only a guide, you can always add if you feel it needs more of anything.

Happy cooking! 

Gem x 


Chicken Breasts (three or four breasts or pack of mini fillets)

1tbsp vegetable oil/olive oil

1tbsp Ginger (I’m a bit of a cheat and use the puréed one in the tube)

2tbsp soy sauce

1tbsp tomato ketchup

2tbsp honey

2tbsp lime juice

1tbsp fish sauce

3 Spring Onions


Pre-heat the oven to 200C (180C fan assisted oven).

Mix the oil, ginger, soy sauce, tomato ketchup, honey, lime juice, and fish sauce together well in a casserole dish.

Add the chicken into the casserole dish and coat the chicken well with the mixture. 

Cover with foil and put into the oven for 30-35 minutes.

5 minutes before the end of cooking time add the chopped spring onions into the casserole dish and mix. Remove the foil and cook in the oven for a further 5 minutes.

Once the 5 minutes is up take it out of the oven and double check the chicken is cooked through.

Enjoy with rice or noodles 

Babies, Baby, Celebs, Children, Comedy, Cooking, Family, Food, Friends, Funny, Housewife, Living with Kids, Mom, Mommy, Mum, Mummy, Mummy Blogger, Mums, Parenting, Toddler, Toddlers, Uncategorized

The Liebster Award

This week the lovely Sarah (@mamawifeyavery) from To Maternity and Beyond nominated me for a Liebster Award. Thank you Sarah 🙂

Apologies to any of my other lovely followers who have also nominated me for this already and I haven’t reciprocated. The past few months have been busy ones and this has been the first opportunity I’ve had chance to return the favour.

So what is The Liebster Award? Well it’s a way of finding out more about bloggers you are interested in by asking them a set of questions. So here goes.


The rules are:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog in your post.
  • Show the award on your blog or in your post.
  • Answer the 11 questions asked by the person who nominated you.
  • Write 11 random facts about yourself.
  • Nominate 5-11 bloggers that you feel deserve the award.
  • Create a list of new questions for your nominees to answer.
  • Once your blog is published, let your nominees know that they have been nominated and link them to your post for more details.

My Answers to Sarah’s Questions:

Why did you start your blog?

Back in July 2015 I made a bit of a boob (literally) of myself. I basically breastfed my little boy quite a while after having a fake tan (stupid I know), and cue a little Desperate Dan like face (but don’t worry it rubbed straight off and he was absolutely fine). Seeing the humorous side I added the picture along with a light hearted warning to fellow mummies onto The Unmumsy Mums page on Facebook. Little did I know the picture was going to go completely viral. After receiving an amazing response (and a few not so amazing) from people all over the world I wanted to share my side of the story. I’d always had a passion for writing, and as a mum to two boys on maternity leave, my brain needed a serious recharge. So what better way to start my blogging adventure, and so they say, the rest is history.


If you won the lottery tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d buy?

A  first class trip to Australia. Myself and the hubby spent an amazing year there in 2006. We’d love go back and take our family to see the one and only Osborns (the nicest people in the world). It would be wonderful to see our boys playing with their children, and for the family to enjoy all of the special places/experiences we did 10 years ago (where did that time go?).

Describe your perfect Saturday night in.

Now Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway and Take Me Out (No likey, no lighty) is on, Saturday nights are complete. Just add a lovely meal (occasional takeaway, would be rude not to); the hubster (preferably wearing very little); a nice bottle of prosecco and twinkly lights/candles. Perfect.

Who is your favourite author?

Currently Sarah Turner – The Unmumsy Mum. An absolutely hilarious and incredibly true account of motherhood. I spent most of the time reading the book and nodding away like Churchill the dog. Some truly laugh out loud moments, and some very heartfelt ones. It’s nice to know that no one’s perfect (regardless of what their Instagram page may lead us to believe) and admit that parenting is no walk in the park.

Previous to Mrs Turner, I love a good bit of Bill Bryson, learn whilst wetting yourself with laughter.Image result for bill bryson books I also love reading the boys Julia Donaldson books. Fantastic rhymes and always a lovely story. What more could you want from a book?

Where did you last go on holiday?

We last went on holiday to a gorgeous all inclusive called the Crystal Palace (no not the football stadium) in Side, Turkey.  5 star luxury with no cleaning, washing up, or cooking to do (but still nappy changing, chasing after children and dealing with whining, well we can’t have everything can we). Great hotel, couldn’t recommend it enough. I actually started to write a blog about the comparisons of holidays pre and post kids, but have still yet to publish it. Keep your eyes peeled.

What is your dream job?

As a child I spent a bit of time in the children’s hospital so I’d always wanted to be a nurse or in a role of a caring nature. However, the older I’ve become the more fearful I am of sick, blood and guts, that and the fact I don’t think I could cope with the emotional strain the role brings. What a bloody hard job, I salute every nurse, doctor, midwife and carer out there. Thank you for what you do. You are real life heroes. You deserve so much more.

Cheese or chocolate?

Although I am partial to the odd bar of chocolate, I’m a cheese girl all the way. Halloumi, brie, Camembert, cheddar, Gruyère, Port Salut, Feta, Gouda, Wensleydale (I’m a Yorkshire lass after all), Emmental, mozzarella, it doesn’t matter, just get in my belly!

What was the last thing you saw at the cinema?

A trip to the cinema these days is a rarity. We did take our son to see The Peppa Pig Movie for his second birthday *sigh*. Although if I have to be completely honest I think we quite enjoyed it too (but shhh don’t tell anyone). The most recent grown up film we saw was Spectre, who doesn’t love a bit of Bond, James Bond? We were well impressed with the fact one of our local cinemas had had a complete luxury upgrade and we were welcomed with plush leather reclining seats. Cinemas have come a long way since the chewing gum encrusted, none-reclining, neck breaking naff upholstered seats.


If you had the opportunity to go into space would you take it?

If there was a guaranteed chance I would return in one piece to my family, then hell yes. An absolute once in a lifetime opportunity. What an amazing experience. Although I’m not sure how I’d cope in one of those g-force whizzymibobbies they test you in first. Bleurgh! Plus how do you wee or poop in space? 

What is your favourite thing to cook?

I love cooking full stop, but if I had to choose I’d say a good Sunday roast. Lots of different elements which can be mixed up week to week. Varied meat, varied veg and not to forget it involves my favourite, the Yorkshire pudding. 

Who would play you in a movie about your life?

It would be a pretty boring film, I’m not even sure the plush leather seats would keep people seated. Although if I could choose an actress to play me I’d have to have a comedy actress such as Sandra Bullock or Kristen Wiig. What would life be without laughter?

11 Random Facts About Me

  1. I used to dress as a giant squirrel and walk/dance around the office. I’m not a furry (watch the Channel 4 doc if you need clarification), but I bloody loved every sweaty minute in that Squirrel suit. *This is the actual costume*SQUIRREL MASCOT COSTUME
  2. I’m currently in the process of creating and illustrating a children’s picture book with my very talented and lovely partner in Rhyme Rhyming with Wine. Keep your eyes peeled and hopefully coming to a book shop near you.
  3. I was lucky enough to meet Jonny Wilkinson *swoon* and his fellow England Rugby Union team mates *double swoon* at a Corporate event I supported with in one of my previous careers.  
  4. You may find me on your TV screens soon (namely on E4’s Virtually Famous). All due to my rather slack tanning incident. I’ve actually wrote a blog about the experience as there’s a high possibility I may look like a complete douche (you can find out why here).IMG_0311-0
  5. I hate bad spelling/grammar (although I’ve no doubt I’ll regret saying this I’m sure you’ll make me aware of my mistakes now). I’m talking their, there, they’re and your, you’re. Grrr!
  6. I’m left handed, and so they say this makes you creative. Which I like to think I am.
  7. I got offered a job to work as a Beauty Therapist at Ragdale Hall Health Hall Hydro, but fell in love and went to Australia instead.
  8. I’m a total magpie and love anything that sparkles or glitters (I was meant to be a Gem).
  9. I have a ‘thing’ for monkeys and apes. My husband took me to Monkey World for my 25th birthday. Bloody loved it and we’re hoping to return one day with our two little monkeys.
  10. I have Trypophobia (a fear of things with lots of holes in). Yes this is seriously a thing. It makes me totally cringe, especially those bloody fake boob lotus plant things that keep appearing on Facebook.
  11. I once dropped a huge round table on my foot whilst setting up for our wedding do (we got married abroad so had a party at home too) a bit of a swollen foot and a bandage later and I was good to go, still danced the night away. 

I Would Like to Nominate:

Rhyming with Wine

A Moment with Franca


This Mums Life


Mummy’s Beans

Wee Monkey and Me

Geri Cobwebs

Mudpie Fridays

Leo Lionman & Mummy

My 11 Questions

  1. If you could have three people (dead or alive) round for dinner who would they be and why?
  2. What’s your most embarrassing moment?
  3. What do you think makes a good blogger?
  4. What’s your favourite place in the world?
  5. Who’s your celebrity crush?
  6. What’s your favourite film?
  7. Which is your favourite book to read to your child(ren)?
  8. Why do you write a blog?
  9. The Goonies, Gremlins, or Ghostbusters?
  10. Justin Bieber, yay or nay?
  11. What is your proudest moment/achievement?

Well there it is. I hope you enjoyed it and I look forward to reading yours and learning a little bit more about you.

Gem x

TOTS100 - UK Parent Blogs
Chicken, Cooking, Delicious, Food, Nacho, Recipes, Uncategorized, Yummy

Not yo Chicken! (Nacho Chicken)

This is a really easy and scrummy meal with a Mexican twist. It’s definitely a favourite in the Colley household.

Just a pre-warning – If you look carefully at all my pics you may notice there’s a hair on them, just before you all start to worry about my health and safety standards, I can confirm it isn’t on the food it’s actually a minuscule one stuck in my phone camera lens. I can’t get it out (argh!) I need a new phone 🙂 Glad we cleared that up, now food!


Nacho Chicken

  • 3 Chicken Breast Fillets
  • 2 tbsp of Olive Oil
  • 1 Onion
  • 2 Cloves of Garlic
  • 2 Sliced Peppers (Any colour)
  • 1 Can of Tomato Soup (You could also use a jar of salsa, or a tin of chopped tomatoes dependent on your personal preference)
  • 1 Can of Red Kidney Beans
  • 1 tbsp Oregano
  • 1 tbsp Parsley
  • 1 tbsp Cajun Seasoning
  • Bag of Nachos (can be plain, cheese, cool, whatever you prefer)
  • Handful of Grated mozzarella cheese
  • Pinch of Salt
  • Pinch of Pepper

Avocado Salad

  • 1 Avocado
  • Pack of Mixed Leaves (I usually use rocket and lambs lettuce)
  • Handful of Cherry Tomatoes
  • Cucumber
  • Drizzle of Olive Oil
  • Pinch of Salt
  • Pinch of Pepper


Start by pre-heating the oven to 180c. Put the olive oil into a frying pan and sauté the onions and garlic until soft (being careful not to burn the garlic – I occasionally add a small amount of water (1 tsp) to prevent this from happening). Add the sliced peppers and cook for about 2 minutesAdd the chicken to the mix and cook for about 7 to 10 minutes to ensure the chicken is cooked through
After about 5 minutes of cooking the chicken, add the can of drained red kidney beansAdd the Cajun seasoning and oregano, and give the mix a good stir, then add the tomato soup (or Salsa, or chopped tomatoes, whichever you prefer) and simmer for a further 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste
Get a large oven-proof dish (you could always split it between two smaller ones if you have them) and put some of the chicken mix in the bottom, top it with nachos, repeat by adding more of the mix on top, followed by more nachos, repeat until all of the mix and nachos are gone (or if you’ve run out of space). On the final layer of nachos add the grated cheese evenly
 Whack it in the oven for about 10 minutes, or until the cheese is melted and the nachos are slightly browned. Remove it from the oven. Add the salad and a generous helping of the Nacho chicken. One delicious and simple meal complete. And remember if anyone tries to knick any off your plate, then you tell them That’s not yo chicken!

Bon appetit, Gem x 

Domesticated Momster
Cooking, Delicious, Food, Recipes, Yummy

Super Scrummy but Simple Salmon, Spinach, and Tomato Spaghetti 

This is a delicious, nutritious, really simple meal to make, and the kids love it too.

We’ve been growing some really sweet and tasty little tomatoes in the garden so what a great way to use them.IMG_0642


  • 2 salmon fillets
  • 1 onion sliced
  • Spinach (a generous handful)
  • 7-8 cherry tomatoes cut into quarters
  • Two heaped tablespoons of cream cheese like Philadelphia (for a healthier option use low fat)
  • 1 teaspoon of Dijon mustard
  • Half a lemon
  • 200g Spaghetti (enough for two people)
  • 1 tablespoon of olive oil
  • Salt
  • Cracked black Pepper


  • Cook the salmon fillets in an oven proof dish at 180c for about 12-15 minutes, alternatively you can microwave them for about 3 minutes in a cling film covered microwaveable dish.
  • Meanwhile put the spaghetti in a pan of boiling water, and cook for about 10-12 minutes.
  • Add a tablespoon of olive oil into a frying pan, and sauté the onions for about 5 minutes or until soft.
  • Once the onions have softened, add two tablespoons of cream cheese and a teaspoon of Dijon mustard, squeeze the juice of half a lemon, and give it all a good stir.
  • Flake the cooked salmon into the sauce, then add a generous handful of spinach, and the tomatoes, then stir in.
  • Add salt and black pepper to taste.
  • Drain off the spaghetti retaining about two tablespoons of the water, then add  both the spaghetti and water to the pan with the sauce.
  • Using tongs (a fork and spoon will also do the trick) mix in the spaghetti so it gets coated by the lovely sauce and all nicely mixed.
  • The only thing left to do is serve it, and enjoy.

foodIf you’re feeling a bit naughty, and are in need of a few more carbs, I highly recommend a crunchy warm baguette straight from the oven covered in melting butter (my mouth is watering writing this), oh, and not to forget a glass of white wine. I highly recommend Freemans Bay New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc from Aldi, it’s bloody gorgeous and a bargain at £5.89.

The recipe is one you could easily adapt to your own tastes, other things that would be lovely in it would be peas, courgette, broccoli, you could even add a splash of wine, and a bit of garlic. If you’re not a fan of salmon, chicken or turkey would also be a perfect replacement.

Well there you go, my first recipe. I hope you like it. If you do cook it I would love to know how you got on, and if you got a thumbs up from your food testers.

Happy cooking, and eating.

Gem x