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SuperKids

 

If kids had superpowers, what would they be? Invisibility? Flight? Super strength? These would be the obvious assumptions; however, these are no ordinary superheroes.

Let me introduce you to the SuperKids.

Wonder Whinge

Wonder Whinge1As soon as she wakes up the primary noise she will expel is whinge. Whether she’s moaning about the fact she doesn’t want the blue top on as it doesn’t go with her knickers, or because you gave her a banana with the tiniest mark on it, she will whinge and whine until the cows come home. The noise itself can turn any relatively calm parent into a stressed short tempered individual. Whinge is the kryptonite to most parents.

DangerBoy

Dangerboy1

There’s no height too high for DangerBoy. He has zero fear and no matter how many times he’s told something is dangerous, he’ll continue. A regular visitor to the local A&E department and on first name terms with the doctors and nurses. His parents are quite sure they have a mark against their name. Injuries are merely war wounds and he will proudly show off these to any passer-by. DangerBoy is averse to the words ‘Be careful’.

SuperFuss

Superfuss

If it’s green SuperFuss wouldn’t touch it with a bargepole, however chips, sweets, and chocolate seem to go down well. She can sit at a table for hours if tested and is a seasoned pro at stand offs with anyone trying to get her to consume something she doesn’t want to. Occasionally she’ll decide she wants to eat something she refused to eat the previous day. This is what is known as a mind fuss.

Captain Poopy Pants

Captain PoopyPants1Don’t let his age, height, or small stature fool you, Captain Poopy Pants could put a wild brown bear to shame. He can produce vast amounts of the ‘brown stuff’ and will always catch you when you least expect it. His favourite time to declare ‘he’s got to go’ is usually just as his mum or dad are about to step out of the door when they’re already late or in a queue with a full shopping trolley. Captain Poopy Pants can ward any enemy off with his pungent aroma. Most certainly a carbon copy of his father, Daddy Poopy Pants.

Mega No

Mega No1It doesn’t matter what you ask of Mega No, her response will always be no. Would you like to help me put away all the toys you erratically exploded around the room? “NO!” Do you like green? “No! Would you like fish fingers and beans for tea? “No!” How about I give you a million pounds? “No!” There is literally no pleasing Mega No. Even when she knows she should probably say yes, her stubborn powers prevent her. The only way to catch her out is to start a question with “You wouldn’t mind if…” and end it with “…would you?”

King Question

King Question1There is no question King Question won’t ask. He will ask you “Why?” at least 500 times a day. His parents always vowed they’d never utter the words “Just because” or “That’s just how it is” but they’ve finally been broken and now consider Google a good friend. King Question has a knack of knowing exactly when to ask an awkward question, particularly in the public domain. Questions such as ‘Why is that man so big / in a wheelchair / wearing that / ugly’ can often leave his parents in a stuttering wreck whilst they attempt to respond most appropriate and politically correct way.

Move over Batman, the SuperKids are in town!

Do you have a SuperKid in your family?

Gem x

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A Mother’s Love is Never Ending

Mother, Mum, Mummy, Mom, Mommy, Ma, Mamma, Mammy, Momma. Whilst it sounds like I’m trying to do my best impression of Stewie Griffin from Family Guy, I’m simply just listing the many alternative names for the main woman in your life, or by the name you are possibly so regularly referred to as (and believe me it’s used to the max at times).

So what do we define as a mother? Someone who loves you and brings you up with affection and care from day dot, a person who has unconditional love for her child, a woman who will nurture and provide for her young? All of these are what you’d expect to be true, however some people out there may have a different view based on personal experience.

Sadly there are a number of babies born into a world without a loving family, which absolutely breaks my heart and I’m sure yours too. But luckily there are many amazing people out there, who whilst they might not have been through pregnancy, physical pain, or gas and air, they have given these children what they needed the most…love.

There are mums out there who beat themselves up on a regular basis for not being that ‘perfect’ Instagram mum they see feeding their child organic chicken and quinoa salad and a full boob of fresh breastmilk; for the fact they just shouted at their child for jumping on the sofa for the fiftieth time; or because they turned their back for a second and ended up in A&E. The term for this is mum guilt. Believe me I know. Regardless of these occasional mum guilt moments, they have given their children what they needed the most…love.

For the mums who sadly didn’t have enough chance or time with their babies/children, they have given and will continue to give them what they needed the most…love.

It matters not if they have or haven’t the same blood running through their veins, if they’re on Earth or in the clouds, a mother’s love is never ending.

Gem x

 

 

 

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You’re the Love of My Life

It’s Christmas Day, ready to burst from feasting on umpteen sprouts (pppparrrrppp), lashings of mash, spoonfuls of stuffing, and enough turkey to feed a baby T-Rex, we all plonk ourselves down on the sofa with a Prosseco in hand (apart from the kids of course, they had beer, just kidding!) The kids were happily playing with their new toys and gifts whilst we lovingly watched them. Without realising the time had slipped away my mum starts giving the indication they’re going to think about making a move, not a chance, tis the season to be jolly and all that. As a result my barmaid alter ego jumped to a start, and glasses were quickly filled (that should hold them a little longer), then cue my other alter ego, DJ Wobbles (Wobbles by name wobbles by nature, especially after a few bubbles).

With Spotify at my disposal I proceeded to put some tunes on to get them into the ‘Christmas spirit’. I started my musical journey with Sash! taking us back to 1997 playing classics such as Equador, Stay and Encore Une Fois, they may be 18 years old but they’d still get the young uns up dancing I have no doubt. My parents took a liking to Sash! during my teen years and have still been known to dance around their living room to it, so this had to be a surefire winner. DJ Wobbles 1 – 0 Parents.

Next let’s turn it up a notch and open up for requests. One sure fire way to win people over with music is to allow them to make requests and let the memories flow. If there’s one thing that can spark a memory off, it’s music. So there we were transported back to the days of my long haired rocker of a dad listening to the likes of Yes, Cream, and Derek and the Dominos. One thing I can confirm is that my dad has good choice in music. Who can deny it with the acoustic riffs from songs such as Layla, Roundabout, and Sunshine Of Your Love. So from such epic music what did DJ Wobbles put on next? Whip Nae Nae of course, yes I know terrible terrible music, and such a drastic change, but my son can’t half bust a move to it, and yes for a moment I was that pushy ‘look at what my son can do’ mum I always said I wouldn’t be. Next two more of his favourites, Sugarhill Gang – Rappers Delight and Apache, we had to let him have a bit of the limelight, and boy did he steal it. Ashley Banjo, watch your back 😉

Next a few numbers for my very glamorous mum, a bit of Donna Summer, Hot Stuff. A classic and it will never cease to remind me of the brilliant moment in The Full Monty when they’re all queueing up and thrusting. On the back of the 70’s vibe we moved onto the fantastic and very catchy Earth, Wind, and Fire – September, then up to the 80’s with a bit of Borderline by Madonna with the necessary sprinkling of the wonderful Michael Jackson all teamed with my questionable and probably incredibly crap looking dance moves. All dance moves were learnt courtesy of my favourite Wii game, The Michael Experience. (Hopefully my neighbours haven’t had to witness this too, although my son was once on the receiving end of the Wii controller due to my rather enthusiastic ‘Heeeheee!’ move. Sorry son). Anyway I digress.

So next we moved onto our wedding songs, meaning the tone softened especially when my dad whispered in my ear “Play Carly Simon – Love of My Life, your mum will like that“. If you haven’t heard this song then I can’t urge you enough to listen to it. It’s so beautiful. The song was inspired by her children.

From the moment I first saw you,

The second that you were born,

I knew that you were the love of my life,

Quite simply the love of my life

As I listened to the lyrics snuggled with my baby I looked over at my dad who was cuddling and singing the song to my toddler. I remembered my dad singing in the same way to me as a little girl, and do you know what it doesn’t really seem that long ago. Time simply goes too quickly. It’s only since I’ve had my boys that I’ve started to understand this. I remember when I was pregnant people always used to say “Treasure it, time goes so quickly“, it used to get right on my baps, but they were right, it’s so true.

So anyway, there I was listening to the beautiful lyrics and reminiscing, then my eyes leaked (yep I cried like a baby), now it’s very likely Prosecco had a certain influence as it does in many a moment, but I was so happy to be sharing Christmas with some of the most loved people in my life, my boys, husband and parents. I felt lucky we were all sharing that moment together as it could have been a different story a few years ago, thankfully it wasn’t. That’s all well and good for me I know, unfortunately some are not so fortunate and my heart truly goes out to them. This is why we really have to make the most of our lives, and not take our family and friends for granted, we just don’t know when it might all change.

That moment also made me realise my babies are growing up so quickly and before I know it I’ll be the grandparent singing to my grandchild (but yeah let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves).
Basically it was an episode of Back to the Future but without Doc, a Hoverboard, or clocktower in sight. I was Martina McFly blasted back to the past as a little girl seeing my mum and dad care and nurture for me like I’m doing now for my boys. The realisation that they’ve been there and done it all for me and my sister. All the times they’ve wiped my backside (as a baby of course), cleaned up my sick (again as a baby with the occasional later life mishap I’m sure), told me not to touch ornaments and had a cheeky response back, had to deal with a moody teenager that would have given Kevin (and Perry) a run for his money, and worried themselves sick about me one night as I hadn’t come home at curfew only to find I was at a ‘lock in’ at the local caravan site pub until 2.30am because I was trying to look ‘cool’ and be accepted. I didn’t end up looking ‘cool’ as I remember walking back to the caravan with my ‘friends’ and seeing a tall silhouette holding an umbrella walking towards us at a fast pace, it was my dad and I was in big trouble. Dad 1-0 Streetcred. Looking back I cringe because I now know how they must’ve felt. Their baby who they’d lovingly brought up could have been in the bottom of a ditch, luckily I wasn’t, I was completely oblivious, just a moody teenager who wanted acceptance. So now as a thirty something mum of two, I want to apologise to my mum and dad for all of the times I’ve hurt, scared, or worried you. I now fully understand why you wouldn’t occasionally let me go out, or nagged me about not smoking and doing drugs (which I have never done as a result), because you love me, and even now, I’m still your baby.

You moulded me into the person I am today (which I think is a good, bar the odd dozy remark or situation), so thank you and I hope we can raise our boys in the same way you did with my sister and I.

So as I sat there and listened to the lyrics I realised the love of my life isn’t just my husband*, or the two little men in my life**, it’s my parents, my sister, my extended family, and my friends. They are all the love of my life. All for different reasons, but I love them so much and I am very lucky they are part of my life.

One of the reasons I’ve wrote this is because I’m not really capable of saying something like this directly to them without crying, and I’m not talking one of those beautiful single tear cries like in the movies or like Sinead O’Connor on the Nothing Compares music video, I’m talking full blown sobbing where my face goes red and puffy like I’ve had 10 rounds in the ring with Mike Tyson, not attractive.

So here it is (you know who you are), you are the love(s) of my life.

Gem x

*A man who puts up with me and my random brain farts on a daily basis, a man who could probably make Kanye West smile/laugh (no mean feat), a man who once fell asleep reading my blog (thanks for your support our lad), a man who still after all these years makes me weak at the knees, a man who is without a doubt my soulmate.
** My wonderful little poop machines, in the words of Jerry Maguire “You complete me“. I often look at them both in complete amazement. How did we create such smiley, funny, and handsome little people? They truly are a delight, then the baby voms and proceeds to create a masterpiece Tracy Emin would be proud of by wafting his hands in it, all done whilst the other farts and says “Might be a motorbike” (he’s mastered the art of denial already). Sick and trumps aside, one thing I’m sure of is I love the bones of those little men and will until the day I am no more.
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