Celebs, Christmas, Comedy, Film, Funny, Humour, Uncategorized

10 Reasons to be More Like Buddy the Elf

Buddy the Elf, what a guy! If the world had more Buddy’s in it, it would be a much better and entertaining place. So how can we be more like him?

1. He loves Christmas and all its magic

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Buddy (being an elf and all) is all about Christmas, there’s no time more magical. A festive season when you can eat chocolate for breakfast every morning (or in Buddy’s case syrup laden spaghetti with a sprinkling of Smarties).

2. He has a great vocabulary


You can always rely on Buddy to come out with a brilliant word or phrase. Cotton headed ninny muggings is pretty hard to beat.

3. He gives a lot of compliments 

“I think you’re really beautiful and I feel really warm when I’m around you and my tongue swells up”

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Everyone loves a compliment, and Buddy is never  short of one. It’s such a simple thing to do, and just like Debs it can make someone’s day. Go on give someone one today (a compliment you filthy minded people).

4. He’s a bit naive and innocent 

“You did it! Congratulations! ‘World’s Best Cup of Coffee.’ Great job, everybody. It’s great to meet you”

Whilst being completely naive and innocent isn’t always the best way to be, Buddy sees most things in a very positive and literal way. Something we could all do from time to time (unless your names Joey Essex then you already do).

5. He loves to sing (even if he is a bit off-key at times)

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One lesson Buddy has taught us is that the best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear. Go on get your sing on even if it takes a few Proseccos and sherries to get you going.

6. He’s not afraid of hard work

He might have only managed to build 85 Etch-A-Sketchers, but it’s 85 more than you or I could build. He’s a dab hand at making toys, even if he does wreck his fathers wooden desk in the process.

7. He’s easily impressed

“Have you seen these toilets? They’re GINORMOUS!”

Whilst the man in the Empire State buildings lift probably wasn’t impressed with having to stop at 102 floors, Buddy saw the beauty in the pretty lights. Every time you use a lift now, you’ll probably have the urge to do the same.

“It looks like a Christmas tree”

He also got excited about the fact he’d seen a dog.

“So, good news – I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog?”

Sometimes we’re so busy looking at the bigger picture we miss the small things that really matter. We should probably be impressed with the simpler things just like Buddy.

8. He doesn’t take life too seriously

Whether it’s spinning around in a rotating door until you vom, or busting out your best dancing moves to Jump Around in a dingy post room, letting your hair down at times is just the right medicine. *Please Note* Drinking ‘syrup’ and dancing on tables during work hours may cause you to lose your job.

9. He has impeccable telephone answering skills

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He answers the phone in a very clear and positive tone, taking interest in the caller, and all done with a smile.  Something a lot of customer services advisors could do with putting into practice.

10. He just loves to smile

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There’s nothing more infectious and welcoming than a smile, and Buddy has got it down to a tea. Although remember there’s a fine line between looking generally friendly or a complete lunatic.

Buddy the Elf is the balls and no Christmas is complete without him.

Merry Christmas, and don’t forget…

never-1
Gem x

Children, Comedy, Daddy, Dads, Family, Film, Funny, James Bond, Living with Kids, Mission impossible, Mom, Mommy, Mum, Mummy, Mummy Blogger, Mums, Parent, Parenting, Secret agent, Secret service, Toddler, Toddlers, TV, Uncategorized

Mission Kidpossible: 10 Reasons Why Toddlers Would Make Great Secret Agents

Secret Agents might not all have the same ability as Ethan Hunt climbing an 828m tall building, or the je ne sais quoi of Mr Bond emerging from the sea in ridiculously tiny trunks (I may have re-wound that moment back a few times to check where the beach was, obviously), but we all know they’re out there somewhere doing super top secret stuff to ensure the safety of the nation and to prevent the likes of evil chair wielding cat strokers.

Usually Secret Agents are 21 and over, but what if the information and intelligence gathering duties were passed over to the likes of toddlers? “What?” I hear you cry, well read on and you shall discover why toddlers would make great secret agents.

1. Anyone who owns a toddler in this current day and age will know that they seem to be born with built in technology and swipe intelligence. Whether it’s a phone, a tablet, a tracking device, a radio transmitter, or a Single Digit Sonic Agitator, the kids are all over it.

2. They have supersonic hearing especially when the word chocolate, sweet or anything remotely unworthy of little ears is uttered.

3. Toddlers have the ability to fit and hide into the tightest of spaces. They are best at doing this in busy social situations, any clothes packed sale rails, signs, and doors are a preferred choice of camouflage.

 4. “Awww look at her, look at her wittle chubby chops, she’s soooo cute” BOOOOOOOM! You picked the wrong toddler to get all cutesy with. Cute kids, what a way to lull the enemy into a false sense of security.

5. Deadly poo and farts with the incredible ability to empty a room in t-minus two seconds. How a small person can make a stench a farty pig would be proud of is beyond belief. 

6. Nocturnal ability. Night or day, who cares when you’re a toddler, if you want to have a tantrum about a toy helicopter at 4am in the morning then who cares because you’re a toddler and time means sh*t. Night missions, no problem.

7. 20/20 eyesight. The unbelievable ability to spot a toy/sweet/chocolate/train/aeroplane/parent eating chocolate (delete as necessary) from miles away. 

8. Fluent in a number of languages, primarily English with a smattering of gobbledygook.

9. Courage, I’m not talking the Lion from The Wizard of Oz courage, I’m talking the no fear when jumping off the top of a table/chair/climbing frame/stairs/bed (the list is endless) kind of courage. This also relates to the courage of not giving an actual damn, for example asking a lady why she’s sat in a wheelchair and why that man’s so fat (cringe).

10. And finally the constant questioning, oh god the constant questioning *grabs wine and takes a glug*. If there’s one thing toddlers are sh*t hot at, it’s asking questions…all of the time.

Imagine the scene

In a room a suspected drug lord is sat across from a intrigued toddler.


Toddler: “What’s a drug lord?“, “What’s a drug lord?“, “What’s a drug lord?“, “What’s a…

Suspected drug lord: “Somebody please stop this kid!

Toddler: “Are you a drug lord?“, “Are you a drug lord?“, “Are you a drug lord?

*The suspected drug lord shakes and wipes the sweat from his brow* 

Toddler: “Are you a drug lord?“, “Are you a drug lord?“, “Are you a drug lord?“, “Are you a drug lord?

Suspected Drug Lord: “YESSSS, someone shut this kid up, I confess, YESSSSS I’m a drug lord!

The struggle is real, being an over questioned parent, not a drug lord obviously.

So there you have it, toddlers would make pretty valuable additions to the secret service no doubt about it. Although you’re not having mine MI5, I’ll put up with the questioning, chocolate/sweets radar, and atomic farts for a little while longer, you can have Mr Bond back.

Gem x

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